you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
