So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
