But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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