I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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