it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
