I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
