the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
