You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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