D3 body, D1 cock
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize