You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My pussy is not your playground.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
