can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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