JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize