i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i've created a new STD.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.