I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize