If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.