I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
worst night to have a conscience
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
