toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
