dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
