I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
