I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
