The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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