omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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