sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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