Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He better not be in your backpack
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
