You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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