I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
