you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
