just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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