"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just blew my weed a kiss
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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