I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
