The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
