the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
