I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
