DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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