If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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