what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
