She is in my trunk
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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