what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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