So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize