You can't motorboat a personality
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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