wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
