Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
