He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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