New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
