I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
