Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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