I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
