youre lurking in front of me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
