when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
another moral hangover. fuck.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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