Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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