Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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