man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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