You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
