Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
