Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
