either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
