i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We are all done wearing pants today
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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