dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
