im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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