Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
