I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
