Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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