I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
