he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
