I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
