pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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