We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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