So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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