BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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