i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
