Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
